The primary and driving motivation for a type eight is a desire to be self-reliant, to resist weakness and prove their strength, to be important in their world, to stay in control of themselves, have an impact on their environment and to be invincible. Tell me how that resonates and how that plays out in your life.
I would agree with this perspective 100%. I have always enjoyed the freedom to lead in different capacities, to undertake an effort where there is leeway to be creative and love to travel. I believe that in my life it is not so much about being in control of everything, for I enjoy being of support to others and seeing others succeed but it is especially difficult when I start feeling that the people in leading do not know what they are doing. I tend to have strong convictions about how things should be done and what "the best, most effective" way of doing them is and have to remind myself to be inclusive of other perspectives and experiences.
What do you wish people knew about what it's like to be an eight? What do you wish people knew about eights in general?
I wish people knew that I am not trying to be rude, to be in control or feel that I don't think their perspective is valuable. I feel I often get branded as intense or inconsiderate but the opposite tends to be true. It is often because I care deeply and have a strong sense of justice that I tend to have a sense of urgency which sometimes may not be expressed or implemented in the best way. I wish people knew that when they say things I tend to think big picture and long term and usually about systematic change which tends to be taken as dismissive of short term actions. I have come to realize in this that thinking big picture usually prevents me from taking the first step in lieu of having to think everything through.
How has getting to know yourself better using the Enneagram affected your relationship dynamics?
One of the biggest effects of the Enneagram is the basic reminder that not everyone is like me and I have to be considerate of other perspectives. Another effect directly related to my number is that in learning where I gravitate and what my personality tends to be it has forced me to stop and rethink how I can say or do things in a way that is more inclusive and inviting. I still need some practice but it has been helpful.
Tell me what it looks like for you when you access your growth and stress numbers.
When I access my growth number I work very well with others and find collaborating, helping others very exciting but when I access my stress number I feel incompetent and useless.
What's something about you that's different than how eights are described? OR what's something in the eight description that you don't connect with?
Usually 8s are described as domineering and controlling but I tend to find that I don't usually fit this mold in different groups I am part of. It is not that I don't take a leadership role but that I don't always need to be in charge. I am perfectly fine with having others lead as long as I believe they are competent and that they seek out the interests of other not just themselves.